i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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