Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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