I wish I only lived at night.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We have started to decorate penises.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize