There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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