All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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