is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
