When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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