Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
