You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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