Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
