a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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