im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
