I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
