Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
it's like heaven, but drunker
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
