Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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