are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize