its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize