I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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