Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
