We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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