My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
