My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
