Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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