Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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