This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
