i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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