Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
