i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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