Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
