I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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