This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Randomize
