marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
