two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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