I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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