I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
