Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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