At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
