She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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