I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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