This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
