She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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