I want to make a zoo with you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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