Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
