i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Please, let me fuck your mom
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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