people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
