11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize