I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
