I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just had sex bonerless
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize