Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
