omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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