too bad you live with your parents still
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize