YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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