we made out on top of his cat.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
