I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
