I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
