So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think pants incapable of making pants work
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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