He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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