yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
