okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
