her vagine was all disorganized.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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