it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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