idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
