so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
